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A letter to myself


When I was younger I had this image in my head of what I would be doing after university, what kind of job and what kind of life I would have. But as most of these things, nothing goes exactly the way you plannend. And now I'm here... I'm 28 years old, I married the love of my life and we moved to Canada because Gordon got an awesome job at an awesome company and I thought this was going to be my fresh start. The start of me doing great things as well. But I'm still struggling with the same feelings and thoughts I had back in the Netherlands. And while this blogpost isn't necessarily an actual letter to myself, it's more of a reminder to myself (and also to all the other lovely people out there who can relate to it) to stop waiting, stop thinking, just start doing. Oh and also, while doing don't compare yourself to others!

Actually the thing I struggle with the most is work. I always thought (and still do in a certain way) that I would have a job in which I could truly make a difference for people. Really help others out. Or doing something I truly love. But with the move to Canada I'm kind of worried about that. Don't get me wrong, I have a job, I love what I'm doing and I work with really nice people. But still, working remotely is getting pretty hard for me. I really want to get some shit done, so I tend to stay at home in my pyjama's all day, not even taking a real break. Also, the not talking all day (in real life) to people and not seeing other people is getting hard for me. So I decided to do something about that. Allow myself to have a real break and going out of the house more. My first step was starting to go to yoga-classes and doing that during the day, gives me the break I need. 

That's the other thing: sports. I have to admit I'm not the sporty type, I've never been. I start something and after 2 or 3 times I come up with excuses and end up not going anymore. But with yoga it felt like it would be something I would really love. After years of thinking about going, 1,5 month ago I actually did it. And guess what, I go 3-4 times a week now. I feel really good about it. I know it's not bootcamp or crossfit training, but for me it's the right thing. And I know I can force myself to do something and like something, just because other people do it, but that doesn't work for me. I have to do something that I truly love, otherwise it won't stick. 

But the last couple of days I was feeling not quite well. A bit down I guess and I started to overthink everything again and focussing on the negative things. Also, to be really honest I'm not that good at admitting I'm responsible for these thoughts and things, so now is the time to change. If I keep whining and taking some disappointments really hard, that won't bring me any further. So that is also the reason I wanted to write this personal blogpost, to make sure this is the start of me taking some action. Being more active with my blog, since this is something I really love. Start doing, without comparing myself to others. Because why wouldn't I be good enough to do the things that I really love to do? I love putting an outfit together, I love to do some interior styling and taking photos of it. So why not get out more, talk to people and and maybe even working together?

So this time I decided to step out of my comfort zone and instead of complaining about the things I would rather have/see/do, I have to start doing! 

Who's with me?
Also, if you have tips on how to pursue this, please enlighten me, because I'm sure I'm still not always know what to do.